Tiny plays a superhero for TV commercials. Racketeer Big Julius believes the character is real, and Swami Riva accidentally gives him powers.; Aunt Bessie wants to marry Crawley Van Grope, but he won't marry her because he's ashamed that he can't get into the Gourmet's Club without a hammus alabammus, believed to be extinct; he'll marry exotic dancer Tigerina instead. Aunt Bessie and Tigerina battle over the last hammus alabammus on earth, and Tigerina wheedles it away from the chef. But the chef sacrifices himself to boil into the needed sauce, so Crawley marries Bessie anyway.; Dig Muddley becomes Hollywood's greatest gossip columnist by making an alliance with Nightmare Alice. They make up gossip, then she uses her voodoo dolls to make it come true. Dig Muddley flees to outer space when he finds dolls of himself and Alice in wedding clothes.; Thwarted in signing Grace Kelly for a movie, Jack Rockheart swears to make Daisy Mae just as big a star from scratch. This requires getting rid of her husband and child, which is done by expunging them from the census records, so that they don't officially exist. Jack Rockheart tries to crown his success by marrying Daisy Mae to Prince Charlie, who turns out to be Lil Abner in disguise.; Pearly G. Yokum's visits always herald a death, and various family members attempt suicide so as to spare the others. It turns out that the victim is the family owl.; Joe Btfsplk meets Miss Fortune, who is just as big a jinx as he is. Marryin' Sam agrees to perform a wedding, but only if he, Joe, and Miss Fortune do it by telephone from three different locations. Crossed wires get all the wrong people married.; Trying to convince her kin that having everything does not necessarily make you happy, Mammy conjures up repeated visions of Evil-Eye Fleegle, exhausting herself before she finally gets a vision that proves her point.; After ruining his own clothes in a sewer, Tiny dons a harem outfit including veil, after which he whisked off as the latest bride for Abdul, the Indescribable. Tiny straightens out Abdul's back problems and gets sent home as a reward.; In hopes of pursuing exotic dancer Bagmar, General Bullmoose commissions a double, but the imitation Bullmoose is so successful that he takes over the real Bullmoose's life. General Bullmoose enlists Li'l Abner's help in confronting the double with a list of the real Bullmoose's crimes, which he threatens to publish. Aghast at having people think that he is so depraved, the double agrees to switch places again. But now Bagmar, having read the confession, spurns the real Bullmoose.; The horrified Yokums barely rescue their child from the babysitter's perversion -- setting an example of hard work.; Big Stanislouse steals the statue of Jubilation T. Cornpone in order to get a diamond-studded belt hidden within. Unfortunately, Li'l Abner is also hidden within. He loses the statue, but wins the belt back in a fight with the world champion boxer.; After bullfighter Trembolino saves Honest Abe, Li'l Abner agrees to impersonate him in hopes of fending off the family curse of a family member being killed by a bull every 25 years. Li'l Abner succeeds, but Trembolino meets his doom anyway.; Feeling that he's not improving his lot while working with Al Capp, Li'l Abner gets a job on the "Steve Cantor" strip. Steve and Li'l Abner deliberately land behind the Iron Curtain in order to capture Jewel Brynner, the dangerous bald girl spy. She defects when Li'l Abner gives her a hair restorative, but he decides to go back to his own strip.; Daisy Mae is embarrassed that she has become bow-legged, but is forced to appear that way in TV westerns. Luckily she soon gets straightened out.; Dogpatchers form a mob to drive out their new neighbors, because they have square eyes. Mammy muses that square eyes don't do any harm, then learns how human and humane the new folks are. She heads off the mob, and convinces Dogpatchers to welcome the new neighbors just as they would any others.; Tiny gets shanghaied to Lower Slobbovia. There he discovers Mimikniks, birds which can sing any voice and song that they hear.; Tiny experiences a series of perplexing disasters with gals, and Mammy explains the facts of life to him.; Aiming to prove that there is no such thing as a happy marriage, Chester Ghoul gives the Yokums $10,000 a week for as long as they stay happy together. To show that money means nothing compared to their happiness, Li'l Abner pledges it all to the people of Dogpatch. Once they get money they decide that the Yokums are too poor to remain in their neighborhood.; Moonshine uses the Code of the Hills (and a shotgun) to force Henry Cabbage Cod into marriage with Moonbeam. But when pigs are banned from the mansion, the McSwines depart in a huff.; General Bullmoose corners the market on bashful bulganiks... invisible, silent birds. The public goes wild buying them, until Bullmoose realizes that people "watch" bulganiks so much that TV holdings are becoming worthless.; When a promising suitor insists on meeting her family, Aunt Bessie hires suave actors to make a good impression. He decides that since she has such an aristocratic family, he is clearly unworthy of her.; Flea-Brain manages to foul up not only his own love life, but everybody else's too.; Scientists need an empty-headed patriot (Li'l Abner) in whose skull they can place a mind-reading device for espionage. They finally give it up as useless, because everybody on both sides is constantly thinking of sex anyway.; A professor tests Dogpatchers' honesty by leaving in their keeping a sealed box containing the most valuable stuff in the world. Most of them fail miserably, but all that's in the box is air.; Cartoonist Alan Flounder sends his meddlesome mother-in-law away to Dogpatch. Her advice is so aggressive that it breaks up Li'l Abner and Daisy Mae, until Mammy Yokum takes a hand.; Horrified by all the gangsters and savage Indians they see on the cinema, the French branch of the Yokums decides to save the "baby" of the Dogpatch branch by bringing him to France. Teenage daughter Babette is disgusted, until she learns that the baby is tall, muscular Tiny. She lures him into a competition for modern art. When he turns in a blank canvas, he wins by acclamation.; Hairless Joe and Lonesome Polecat are shielding a supposedly-extinct Wilkes-Barresaurus in their cave, but he falls in love with a steam shovel.; Marilyn Monroe goes to Dogpatch to get away from adoring fans, but she's miffed that Dogpatch gals get all the attention from the men.; The first scientist in space blacks out and lands in Dogpatch. He assumes that the people there are a lower form of life.; Tiny doesn't get the point of the hayride, and manages to annoy everybody else on board.; Boyless Bailey tries to arrange a marriage with Tiny, but he is determined to save her from such a fate.; An exchange student learns that England and America are two countries divided by a common language.; Hollywood star Jayne Cornfield got her start when she beat out Daisy Mae as Miss Pumpkin Harvest in Dogpatch. Mammy discovers that Jayne cheated, and clobbers her.; Nightmare Alice uses witchcraft to bankrupt the TV network until she gets her favorite show back on.; Cartoonist Hal Rapp shows off his assembly-line studio for an uninterested Mary Worth.