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ISSUE SUMMARY

Publisher: Archie
Title: Archie's Joke Book Magazine
Page Count: 36
Genre: Children, Humor, Teen
Era: Bronze
Cover Price: 0.15 USD
Cover Date: October 1970
UPC:
ISBN:
Country: United States
Archie, Betty and Veronica are at the beach. Archie asks Veronica to go surfing with him, but Veronica says she'd rather soak up some of the sun. Archie asks her why she wants to do that and says that it isn't any fun. He tells Betty that he can't figure out why Veronica wants to do this. Betty says that Veronica wants to be the "toast of the town".; Archie is holding a can of special soil formula, and asks Dilton if he thinks it will help him grow things. Dilton says he doesn't THINK - he KNOWS. Jughead, drooling, points out what he thinks are Dilton's watermelons. Archie, looking at one, says that the watermelons don't look unusual to him. Dilton says who said they were watermelons. In the last panel he adds that those are his cucumbers.; Archie and Betty are looking at surfboards at the Tarzana Surf Shop on the beach. The salesman brags that those are the most durable surfboards ever made and proceeds to demonstrate. A machine of some sort continuously pounds the surfboard with a large metal mallet. The man lays the surfboard on two large wooden posts and continues to jump up and down on it - the surfboard still doesn't break. Seeing this, Archie purchases one, and proceeds to tell Betty that the surfboards are the most durable boards ever... and taps on the board. In the last panel, he continues "... made!" as the surfboard crumbles in pieces.; Betty asks Archie if he thinks a boy and girl should kiss on their first date. Archie says he doesn't know. Betty asks him what about the second date. Archie still isn't sure. Betty asks how about the 128th date. Archie says of course. Betty proceeds to kiss him on the cheek. Slightly dazed from the kiss, Archie asks Betty how many times they've gone out. She replies "Who counts?"; Betty and Veronica are relaxing by the Lodge pool, when Mr. Lodge asks them to come inside saying he needs their advice. He points to a model of an amusement park and says he's building an amusement park in town. He then asks what they can put in it to make it appeal to teenage girls. Betty replies "Teenage boys!"; Mr. Weatherbee is watching baseball practice and points out to Coach Kleats how a baseball just hit a rock and bounced into Archie's glove. The coach isn't a bit surprised. Mr. Weatherbee says that if the ball hadn't hit the rock, Archie would have missed it. The coach agrees saying "That's right", but is still not surprised. Once again another ball hits a rock and bounces into Archie's glove. Mr. Weatherbee points this out again, but once again Coach Kleats isn't a bit surprised. Just then, Jughead walks up carrying a large bulky bag and tells the coach the the new supplies just arrived. Mr. Weatherbee asks the coach if he's getting a bit extravagant and says there are a lot of baseballs in a bag that size. The coach says that those aren't baseballs - they're rocks. He then hands some rocks to Jughead and tells him to sprinkle a few more in front of Archie's position.; Archie is standing near the shore with his surfboard, admiring two girls as they walk by. One of the girls calls Archie a "plastic surfer" and the other one agrees, saying he doesn't have the knots on his knees that real surfers get from paddling. Archie walks off, disappointed, and Jughead tells him to watch out for his skimboard. Archie trips over Jughead's skimboard, banging his knees on a large rock. Just then, two other girls walk by, notice the knots on Archie's knees and say that he must be a real "boss surfer". In the last panel, Archie is seen sitting between the two girls, and thanks Jughead for tripping him.; Archie is driving along some sand dunes in a dune buggy, and sticks his left arm straight out. Reggie asks Betty if she knows what that hand signal means, and she says it means Archie is going to turn left. Reggie says that this is correct. Archie then sticks his arm straight up and points upward. Betty says that this one means he's going to go up. Reggie thinks this is funny and says Betty doesn't know her hand signals. Betty replies by adding "and you don't know Archie's buggy", as his dune buggy is seen flying upward after launching off of a nearby dune.; Archie and friends are at the beach, and Reggie's friend Jerry offers to trade Reggie his surfboard for Reggie's skimboard. Reggie tells Jerry to throw in his transistor [radio] and he's got a deal. Veronica asks Archie why boys always have to trade, and Archie says he guesses they feel they can swap for something better. Veronica thinks for a moment, then tells her friend Shirley that she'll trade her date [Archie] for Shirley's date.; A one-page gag strip that tells what each character likes about surfing.; Archie is outside watering the plants for his mom. Suddenly, something catches his attention and he rushes inside. He frantically asks his mom where his lifeguard suit is, and she replies that it's in the attic. In the next panel, Archie is seen heading back outside wearing his lifeguard suit as his mom wonders what he's up to. In the last panel, Archie is seen standing next to his hedge, as a beautiful girl is seen relaxing in an inflatable pool next door. Archie tells the girl to let him know if he can be any help.; Archie and Jughead are at the beach with their surfboards, wearing wet suits. Jughead sticks his foot in the water and says that it's freezing. Archie says it's a good thing they brought along their wet suits. Jughead comments that Veronica said she was going to go surfing in her bikini. Archie says that this is impossible and that Veronica will need a "winter-type wet suit". Veronica hears this and says that she won't. In the last panel, she says that she brought along her "winter-type surfboard", and points to her surfboard, which has a plastic or glass capsule on top of it and is being carried by two of her butlers.; Betty and Jughead are watching Archie in a grand-prix race. As the race starts, Betty says "There goes my guy!". In the second panel, Archie is seen winning the race, and Betty says "There goes my hero!". In the last panel, Archie is seen standing next to his car, holding a trophy as Veronica kisses him. Betty then says "There goes my date!".; Archie, Dilton and Reggie are on the beach. Reggie yells "Hello up there!" in the direction of three girls who are standing on a nearby cliff. Archie says that it's no use shouting and that the girls won't be able to hear him. In the next panel, he continues, saying that the roar of the waves will drown out anything Reggie says. Dilton tells Archie that he knows how they can say "hi" to the girls. He then whispers his plan to the guys. Archie repeats it, and says that this is a "groovy idea". In the last panel, the guys are seen laying on the ground in the shape of the word "Hi". Archie and Reggie have dug a small hole in the sand between them to form the bar in the letter "H". We now learn that two of the three girls on the cliff are Betty and Veronica, and Veronica points down to the boys, telling the other girls to look at their message.; Li'l Jinx and Greg are at a park. Greg is playing with a toy sailboat in the pond. Li'l Jinx walks up behind him and yells that she hates him. Greg gets annoyed, and yells back at her. He says he wants her to know that he's going to grow up and be a millionaire. He adds that he will have a big, big yacht. In the second-to-last panel, he tells Li'l Jinx that he won't let her ride on the yacht. In the last panel, Li'l Jinx walks off, slightly upset by what just happened, and says that she wishes she could keep her big mouth shut.; Veronica is seen parading around the beach in a fancy bathing suit. She is quickly met with shouts of approval and whistles from several boys on the beach. In the second to last panel, she is seen walking on the boardwalk. In the last panel, she is seen inside the Beach Boutique telling the clerk that she'll take the bathing suit. A sign taped to the window of the boutique tells us that the boutique is currently having a 25%-off sale on swim suits.; Archie is out surfing and keeps falling off his board, resulting in him going underwater. In the second-to-last panel, Archie is seen back on the shore with his surfboard. Veronica asks Archie how the surfing was. Reggie asks her why she's asking Archie. In the last panel, Reggie adds that Archie spent most of the day skin diving.; Veronica strolls by the judges' stand wearing a bikini and carrying her surfboard as one judge announces that the girls' surfing championship will begin in ten minutes. Ethel points this out to Betty, calling Veronica a flirt. Veronica then tells the judges that they're the "handsomest cats" she's ever seen. Ethel is annoyed by this and tells Betty that she thinks Veronica is trying to influence the judges. In the last panel, Betty says that she thinks Veronica already has, and points to the nearby championship trophy, which is sitting on a stand that reads "Reserved for Miss Veronica Lodge".; Betty, Archie and Veronica are at the beach. Archie s half-asleep on the beach blanket when Betty tells Archie to look at a nearby girl and asks "Isn't she a pretty girl?". Archie quickly perks up and responds with "Wow! I'll say! She's a doll!". Archie then asks Veronica what she does when she sees an unusually beautiful girl. Veronica responds by saying that she looks for a while and then she gets tired. In the last panel, she adds "So I lay the mirror down!"; Archie and Reggie are fighting with one another near Veronica's pool. Veronica tells them to cool it, and to go inside and watch TV since they can't behave at the pool. Veronica tells Betty that Archie and Reggie can be a bad scene at times, and then decides that she'd better go check on them. Once inside, the girls see Archie and Reggie fighting again. Veronica says that she thought she told them to watch TV. Archie says they are, and in the last panel, Reggie adds that they're deciding which channel to put on.; Veronica and her dad are walking past a jewelry store when Veronica asks here dad if she can have a little pin money. Mr. Lodge says she can, and asks how much she needs. Veronica says "Enough to buy this little pin", pointing to a $505 pin in the display window.; Betty and Veronica are watching Archie play badminton. Veronica comments that Archie loses every game he plays. She then points out that you can say one thing for him. In the last panel we see Archie tangled up in the net, as Veronica says "He really gets wrapped up in what he's doing".; Betty is at the beach, and three guys are having fun bouncing her in the air on a large tarp that they've stretched out and are holding. Betty points to her left and asks the guys to bounce her over there. In the last panel, we see Archie sitting on the lifeguard stand, as the guys bounce Betty in front of him. As she's in mid-air, she says hi to Archie.; Ethel looks at the price of some swimsuits in a store window and comments that inflation really puts a dent into a girl's pocketbook. Betty agrees, saying that everything is so expensive. Ethel then points out a real bargain in another window - an item that's the same price as it was the previous day.; Jughead and Ethel are walking down the street, and Jughead is seen carrying a canvas and a large briefcase. Veronica comments that Big Ethel has really been criticizing Jughead's art since he took up oil painting. Betty says that they appear to be going somewhere. Veronica says that they're going to Jughead's new oil painting class and that she heard him invite Ethel to come along and watch. Betty finds this a bit hard to believe and says that Jughead must enjoy hearing Ethel critize him. Veronica says she doesn't think Ethel will dare open her mouth to criticize his paintings now. Betty tells her to continue (eg explain the situation). In the last panel, we see Jughead happily painting underwater, along with several other students, all of whom are wearing a swim mask and breathing through a mouthpiece connected to a small oxygen tank on their back. A nearby sign reads "Captain Blubb's Underwater Oil Painting Classes".