The Summitville football team steals the Riverdale mascot, an iron bulldog statue, and paints it green as a taunt. However, with strong community support the Riverdale team wins the game and proudly displays their returned mascot.; Krocky is a boxer who has won so many fights the public thinks he's invincible and they are bored. He fights Eezee the extraterrestrial and looses due to special effects, and everyone makes a ton of money.; Dilton's van is stolen but the boys find it while traveling in a helicopter with Archie's uncle. They are able to observe Dilton's delayed alarm system and the van is recovered.; Betty's day is a mess due to plumbing problems, car problems, and weather, but at least she has a date with Archie.; Betty brings an expensive bird to school for a project. The bird gets loose and Archie tries to capture it, causing a ruckus while the bird flies back into its cage.; In a parody of Cinderella, the fairy godmother gets the prince after she had granted wishes to competing girls at the ball.; Archie takes the art of insincere flattery to heart after his new Business Studies course, and gets everyone angry at him and each other.; Archie's dad exhorts him to get outdoors, so Archie gathers the gang and they all watch TV on the beach.; Prudence shows Veronica that clothes and looks are not the only way to attract boys.; Aunt Hilda joins Sabrina jogging, but she causes havoc because she doesn't watch where she's going, and has to fix everything with magic.; The Archies latest music video shoot is cancelled by Vance Forward because he cannot think of a concept for their "bubble gum" sound, but the show goes on when Archie comes up with real bubble gum as an inspiration.; The boys create a statue of a beautiful girl, which the girls change to misshapen and add a statue of a handsome boy. In revenge the boys plump up the male statue and in trying to fix the girl statue ruin it so that the pair resembles Mr. Weatherbee and Miss Grundy.; Li'l Jinx gets jam on her father's shirt and, after he tells her it's a wash and dry shirt, she washes and dries it, ruining an $8 roll of stamps in the pocket.; As Moose is about to beat up Reggie, Jughead distracts him to look up a word in the library.; Gag about both waiters and generals knowing how to take orders.; Gag about doing homework with the TV on.