Alex borrows a remote-controlled army of toy soldiers and rockets from his father's factory, and uses them to wage total war on Albert. To protect Albert and defeat her brother, Alexandra retaliates with a simpler weapon: a gorilla. Unfortunately, the gorilla falls in love with Josie and knocks out Albert.; Josie, Melody and Pepper want a fourth for tennis, but every person runs away in terror when asked to step out on the courts with them. When Alexandra manages to trick her brother into becoming their fourth, we find out why everyone avoids them: they cause massive injury to any tennis partner.; At a carnival, Archie gives Betty a ring toss ring she dropped. Reggie sees this and spreads the rumor that Archie and Betty are engaged.; Mr. Weatherbee goes kayaking and proves to be better at it than Archie and Reggie. His secret? His weight puts a hole in the kayak which allows his feet to walk down the river.; Veronica has an everyday monsters party. For example, Archie comes dressed as the Homework Monster, Ethel comes dressed as the Gossip Monster, etc.; After Josie complains about Albert's slovenly appearance, Pepper and Melody take him in for a makeover, and he gets attired and coiffed according to the latest Carnaby Street style: "If you're not London, you're lost!"; Archie helps Mr. Lodge by preventing him from investing in a bogus company.; When Veronica accuses him of lacking poetry and romance, Archie brushes up on poetry and starts talking in flowery language all the time.; On a hot day, Reggie annoys Archie by asking "hot enough for you?" and then gets the other kids to say the same tired old phrase to the sweltering Archie.; Jughead helps a broke Archie set up a romantic birthday date with Betty.; Egad wants a girlfriend, so Doctor Fink-Stein brings a wooden mannequin to life for him.; Veronica is outraged when mall guards falsely accuse her of shoplifting.; Disturbed by all the reminders of Archie that Betty has put up around the house -- including a life-size waterproof Archie in the shower, a recording of Archie's voice saying romantic things, and Archie photographs on her ceiling -- her dad tries to convince her to play hard to get.; Archie helps Mr. Weatherbee exercise so he can lose weight.; Bored with watching Veronica and Archie attempt archery, Betty has a daydream that she is in the middle of the Robin Hood legend.; Archie gets his mom flowers.; Archie watches a caricature booth while the artist buys some food, and a girl demands a drawing from Archie.; Archie's frisbee gets stuck on the garage roof. When he tries to retrieve it, Mr. Andrews yells at him. Later, Mr. Andrews gets stuck on the garage roof retrieving his frisbee.; Mr. Weatherbee hires Archie to prepare the school for September, but Archie only causes chaos.; Miss Grundy tries to teach her class, but the class is still daydreaming about summer.; Svenson wins the lottery and donates the money to the school.; A kid and his giant gorilla look for work in New York City.; Reggie has a great time giving substitutes a hard time-that is, until the tables are turned.; Jughead wins an eating contest against a Central High student.; Archie and Jughead play ball while Mr. Andrews is gardening.; Betty is angry because Archie forgot her birthday.; Mr. Lodge is tired of hearing Archie's car horn, so he goes boating.; Archie won't stop for directions.; Reggie asks for a bicarbonate of soda.; Archie has a fly in his soup.