Alex pays Clyde Didit to write and perform a song that will help him get Josie. Clyde writes a song making fun of Alex's conceit, but Alex considers it a tribute to his own wonderfulness, and uses all his money and influence to turn the song into a hit. Josie begins to feel upset that Alex is more interested in listening to a song about himself than chasing after her, while Alexandra fears that if Clyde gets rich off the song, she won't have a chance to attract him with her money.; Archie breaks the school gum-chewing rule and ends up creating chaos around the school.; The women-hating Jughead is forced to accompany Veronica to a sorority house where the Archies might play a gig.; Jughead handles a bully that was too much for Archie.; Jughead and Archie test each other's friendship.; Betty falls asleep after reading nursery rhymes to the twins she is babysitting and dreams of her friends participating in various fractured nursery rhymes.; Archie drives Mr. Weatherbee to the airport.; Reggie pays two girls to pretend to be his fans.; The students and faculty of Riverdale High lament the return to school.; A threatening anonymous call has the gang scrambling to determine the safety of the "most precious thing in their world".; Archie and Reggie fight over the last get well card in a store.; Reggie's ego saves the Archies when a gang wants to kidnap the band's star player.; Archie cleans out the garage for Mrs. Andrews, and makes a fortune when he stops at a flea market on his way to the dump.; Betty becomes fed up with constantly helping all of her friends.; Betty feels scorned by Veronica when she is not included in the innumerable pictures of Veronica's friends.; Mr. Weatherbee goes in search of jokes to add to his luncheon speech.; Archie has a nightmare in which he cannot get to school on time.; Archie discusses his band with the editor of Keen Teen Scene.; Archie and Jughead try to concentrate on a chess game.; Reggie goes to visit Archie in the middle of the night.; Archie teaches the gang how to become a rock 'n' roll star.; Jughead gives us a look at how teens would run the airlines.; Miss Beazly answers Mr. Weatehrbee's request to jazz up the food.; Mr. Weatherbee takes an aptitude test with a class.; Jughead talks about the sounds of animals.; Archie gets an ice cream soda.; Archie narrates a look at a teenage-run United Nations.; Archie's jalopy runs out of gas, so Jughead paints a gas pump.