Chuck Clayton finds out that his grandmother has a copy of the oldest known comic, a comic created by his ancestor Charles Clayton during the Revolutionary War. It is first displayed at a local con, then at Chicago Con and finally at San Diego Con. Wherever it is displayed, someone has been trying to steal it, until the thief is caught at San Diego.; Pureheart battles Ice Cube, who is after Lodge's millions!; When sinkholes start opening up all around Riverdale, Archie and the gang decide to investigate.; Archie gets a telegram telling him that Ambrose Pipps is returning to town. While the rest of the gang is excited to see their old friend, Archie can think of nothing except the times he was mean to Little Ambrose.; An Archies tribute band is getting all the gigs in town preventing the real Archies from playing anywhere.; When Pop Tate's recipe for his new drink, the Malted Falcon, disappears Dilton is on the case.; Archie and the gang decide to start giving things names.; The Archies try to think up a new act to win a talent show but after watching everybody else doing new things they stay with their original act and win the show.; Betty and Veronica tire of Ultimo and his constant attention by other girls and decide they would rather have Dilton.; Dilton builds himself a robot girlfriend.; Two children ask Archie how he manages to get all the girls.; Archie continues to run into Betty while he is out with Veronica, causing Veronica to become jealous.; Prehistoric Reggie invents the bow and arrow (which he calls a "vine and stick"), but it only works when it's used backwards. Reggie stubbornly insists on using it the way he invented it.; Reggie plays a prank on Moose when he substitutes fish oil for his suntan lotion.; Jughead and Archie play catch while Betty sets up a picnic.; Archie gets sprayed with the water hose.; Reggie and Jughead play Follow the Leader.; Leroy builds a sand castle with Archie's help.; Archie is a lifeguard and offers to help rescue a pretty girl if the water is too cold.; Reggie kicks Archie into the pool.; Reggie and Veronica play frisbee golf.; Moose mis-understands the phrase "car pool".; Archie has been saving his best pitch, called the "Dipsy Doodle" for the other team's best hitter.; Archie causes Reggie to strike out by throwing him a screwball. Betty comments that Archie throws the best screwballs in the league. Reggie says that it figures - it takes one to throw one.; Reggie tells Moose he's "on the level". Moose doesn't believe him, and punches Reggie. As Reggie is laying flat on his back on the beach, Jughead says that NOW he's on the level.; Reggie asks a girl if she could love a guy like him.; Reggie doesn't care how much money a woman has, as long as she's rich.; Dilton tells Moose that the sun will burn out someday.; Moose and Archie go golfing.