Aliens from the planet Virus come to earth to investigate in preparation for a possible invasion. Mistakenly getting the impression that teenagers are the leaders of the planet, they abduct Archie and his friends, who manage to infect the teenagers of Virus with habits like teen slang and rock n' roll.; After Mr. Weatherbee breaks Archie's fall from a flagpole, Archie decides to devote himself to serving the man who saved his life, and his gratitude makes things miserable for Mr. Weatherbee. Miss Grundy suggests that the only way to stop this is to arrange for Archie to save the principal's life.; Betty and Margo Mayhem compete for the top grades.; Looking for a way to compete with Reggie, Archie finds a piece of jewelry on the street and gives it to Veronica, not knowing that it's a stray piece from a jewelry heist.; Mr. Lodge is being blackmailed by a book expert.; Archie keeps switching his classes so he can be with the new girl, Debbie Murphy.; Reggie convinces Archie that he needs car insurance.; Jughead wakes Archie up from a wonderful dream and then Archie turns the tables.; Archie has to deliver his father's briefcase to him.; Betty and Veronica get Jughead to try to impress a girl.; Veronica finds that she can control Archie with her finger, literally.; Archie runs against Reggie for student council president.; When Mr. Weatherbee finds Jughead digging for buried treasure on the school grounds, he recalls all the other bogus treasure maps Jughead has sold him on, and refuses to get suckered into it this time.; Betty and Veronica compete in the Riverdale Marathon, the winner getting the right to date Archie that evening.; Archie mulls decisions over in his mind, but finds out most of them are already made for him.; Jughead sleeps his way through morning classes, woefully listless and out of pep and incurring the wrath of the faculty, until a certain midday event re-energizes the lad.; Archie accidentally buys an antique at an auction.; Archie's father is angry that Archie has been painting the walls at Veronica's house.; Coach Kleats wants Jughead to get some tires for the athletes to train with.; Jughead tries to convince Reggie that he has a good luck voodoo charm.; The boys make fun of a freshman bringing an apple to school for his teacher but Miss Grundy tells them that it's a sign of respect and appreciation which teachers really like.; Chuck keeps his girlfriend waiting for a date and then the tides are turned.; When Archie and Fred both refuse to wax the floor, they feel guilty and decide to do it.; Reggie and Moose become fast friends after Reggie stops making plays for Midge and actually helps Moose out.; Fred tries to make an important phone call, but Archie's friends keep tying up the line.; Archie has hurt his dueling hand.; Archie accidentally helps Mr. Lodge not purchase a forged painting.; Archie takes a skateboard to school.; Archie and Jughead try to relive their youth by playing stickball, and Archie hits the first ball right through someone's picture window.; Jughead and Hot Dog win a contest for look-a-like pets and owners.; Betty tells Archie that Veronica has a date with another guy.; Archie lectures Veronica for her jealousy, even as he's hitting on another cute girl.; Archie is hopping mad after having a fight with Veronica.; Jughead enrolls in the girls' cooking class, for obvious reasons.; Archie cleans up his room but his mom opens the closet.; Li'l Jinx and her friend are fighting until her father breaks it up.; Jughead wins a crazy hat contest.; Six panels with one joke in each.; Dilton introduces 9 puns based on the abbreviations of the State names.; Dilton and Moose discuss a superstition about itchy palms and money.; Reggie finds out his date's father was a boxer.; Li'l Jinx's dad explains the moon to Li'l Jinx.; Miss Grundy's lesson becomes a pun-fest. First pun is on the word "commonplace".; Reggie bets Archie that he can give him a black eye without touching him.; Mr. Lodge explains to Archie how he got to be rich.; Li'l Jinx talks about streets named after types of trees.; Jughead extolls the virtues of a "dish" across town.; Six characters and their dreams of sheep.; Mr. Lodge decides to let the kids use the indoor pool.; Jughead acts as Archie's lawyer when Veronica accuses Archie of spending their date money on Jughead.; Dilton guesses "0" for the number of peas in a jar.; Li'l Jinx's dad is looking for his golf club.; Jughead does his algebra to be inspired to paint.; Jughead and Archie leave a movie theatre.; Jughead explains why he got everything wrong on a test... it was Archie!; Moose explains to Archie why he goes out with Midge.