The C.R.U.S.H. genius Mentor the Magnificent creates a robotic double of A.R.C.H.I.E., who arranges to switch places with the robot and infiltrate C.R.U.S.H. headquarters.; The latest C.R.U.S.H. agent to take on P.O.P. is The Poet, a man in full Tudor regalia who brainwashes people with his romantic rhyming.; New student Buck Bailey annoys everyone with his practical jokes, but Archie realizes that he just wants to be noticed, and finds a better way for Buck to do that.; Archie, Reggie and Chuck stop a robbery with their soccer skills.; Archie urges both Betty and Veronica to write into the school paper's advice column, neither girl knowing that he will be the one to answer their letters.; Danny gets a date with the one girl in school that nobody has been able to talk to.; Mr. Lodge is building a sculpture garden on the Lodge Estate.; Archie tries to help Betty and her mom chase a squirrel out of the Cooper home's attic.; When Mr. Weatherbee tells Archie he wants to speak to his father, Archie thinks he is in trouble.; Archie's uncle sends him a parrot that talks like a pirate.; Veronica tries not to get annoyed with Archie, after reading a magazine article recommending not being bossy. But of course, no one can keep calm around Archie for long.; After he sentences Archie and Reggie to detention, Mr. Weatherbee thinks he overhears the boys plotting to beat him up.; Archie and Betty sign up for a dance contest and Polly teaches them to dance the foxtrot.; Pat drives his parents and friends crazy with his constantly changing group of imaginary friends.; Chuck, Archie and Jughead all find a reason to want to go back to school.; Archie and Jughead give Betty presents on her birthday.; Archie and the gang stand in line for the toy store to open with the new Star Lores action figures.; Mr. Lodge tries to teach Archie to say "no" to Veronica but all it does is get Archie in trouble.; Mr. Weatherbee sends Archie to the bank to withdraw $500 and two guys try to mug Archie afterward.; Fred decides to build a windmill to save energy.; Archie is learning the tuba.; Mr. Weatherbee goes jogging with Archie and meets Betty's aunt.; Bunny ties Gumshoe to a tree.; Mr. Weatherbee asks Lunk to clean up the crumbs.; Archie asks for a raise in his allowance.; Archie has Dilton, Ethyl and Jughead carry banners professing his love for Veronica but Mr. Weatherbee changes the last banner.; Archie's blind date is the star of the women's rugby team.; Archie tries to take a shower but is interrupted by Veronica's contant calling.; A sign tells Archie a little smile never hurt anyone, but he finds out differently.; Pat and Blinky drop a water balloon on an unsuspecting pedestrian.; Pat wants to see all the green covered books in the library.