A little boy goes down into the sewer to find his ball. Betty goes to look for him, and Archie goes to look for both of them -- just as a rainstorm hits and turns the sewer into a death trap.; Archie goes "Film Noir"; Little Archie, Little Reggie and Little Jughead try to get kicked off the basketball team so they can spend more time with the girls.; Archie takes the girls shopping in the big city but spends all his time trying to park the car.; Archie and the gang visit Archie's grandfather who tells them how life was in the 1930's.; Miss Grundy and Mr. Weatherbee go roller skating with the kids.; Little Jughead wants to play the drums in the Little Archies.; Archie, Reggie and Jughead eat at a pirate themed restaurant and think the employees look silly in their costumes.; Archie plans to relax and play video games but ends up frustrated by them.; Archie finds himself in the middle of a dispute between Veronica and her father.; While visiting a toy store Fred remarks on how much toys have changed since he was a kid.; Miss Grundy assigns the creative writing class an assignment to come up with an original story.; Betty and Veronica come up with a way to drive up attendance at the local library and save it from budget cuts.; Archie makes an old-fashioned silent comedy film, and the girls supply lots of custard pies for the big slapstick scene.; The girls are jealous when they see Archie with new student Roxie Lee.; Archie buys a fitness machine.; Archie and Fred volunteer to take care of the house when Mary is sick in bed.; Archie gets a friend to help him choose between Betty and Veronica. Archie "breaks the fourth wall" in this story and speaks directly to the reader.; Mary wants Fred and Archie to fix a loose banister.; All the boys are flipping over the sexy new Chemistry class substitute teacher and all the girls can't stand it.; Wilbur leaves a note for Linda bur Laurie throws it away.; Wilbur tries to stay clean during a football game so he will have a nice picture in the newspaper.; Miss Gargle checks to see if any students touched the wet paint in the hallway.; Archie gets a new guitar and takes it to Veronica's house to show it off, but Mr. Lodge is not too happy about it.; Archie needs a loan.; Little Archie isn't feeling well after eating the cookies Little Veronica made for him.; Archie compares being a student to having a secure job.; Archie tries to borrow money from his friends to take Veronica to the movies but everybody is broke.; Fred finds Mary's old love letters while cleaning the attic.; Fred is unhappy that Archie spends his days watching music videos.; Archie arrives with his guitar, and Mr. Lodge shows him his most recent antique.; Archie wants to get a pool table.; Wilbur's suspenders broke during the big dance.; The teacher asks Slats when Rome was built.