Hoping to sabotage Archie's chances with Veronica, Reggie sabotages a box of tarts Archie plans to take to her. And the dialogue is spoken in a faux-Elizabethan style.; Satirical look at phrenology.; Satirical look at the life of Lemuel Columbus, the Italian explorer who discovered feet.; Examples of how television would be changed to appeal specifically to a teenage audience, including replacing newsman John Cameron Swayze with hip-talking John Cameron Swayback, renaming "Playhouse 90" to "Playhouse Under 20," and having Archie appear on "This is Your Life."; Examples of futuristic hairstyles styled by Monsieur Sheldon De La Broadbeam, including the "Atomic Bob," the "Ike," and the "Tailfin" Wave.; Humorous definitions of words illustrated by the Archie characters.; Examples of inventions that perform no function for people who didn't like that function anyway.; Ad selling higher class garbage which you can disperse into your own garbage and make people think you're more well off than you are.; Humorous limericks illustrated with the Archie characters.; Jughead paints a steak and adds some medium rare paint to make it taste better.; Humorous definitions of words accompanied by humorous illustrations of said definition.; Archie is quizzed in school. Jughead describes Reggie's character. Betty asks Moose a question. Veronica reprimands her butler. Moose has some news.; Six illustrated examples of one-line gags of the "She was only..." genre.; Illustrated one-line gags starring Jughead.; Jughead presents a series of satirical definitions to the words "vacuum", "congress", "hot dog", and "rabbit."; Series of illustrated similes.